Muggle Computer Class and Severus
by wingnutdawn
Summary: Albus sends Severus to a Muggle classroom as a substitute teacher . An idea that came to me while listening to Snapecast


Muggle Computor Class and Severus.

"YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?" roared Professor Snape, as he leaned forward in the chair he had just sat in after a satisfying day, what with snarling at some particularly thick dunderheaded students who seemed to be attempting to blow up their cauldrons, among other irritants.

"I have received a request from an old muggle friend of mine to send someone to oversee his computer class, they seem to be short of substitutes at his school. The Headmaster explained calmly, " it's just for two hours tomorrow morning." I'm sure your students won't suffer from having tomorrow off."

"Don't you think it is absurd to send me? I don't know anything about these muggle computer thngs." snapped Severus who wondered how the blazes he was going to get out of this situation. He couldn't fake a summons from Voldemort, as Dumbledore wasn't that easily fooled.

Headmaster Dumbledore passed him a paper with all the information he was going to need. Severus looked at the paper with revulsion as if there was some muggle virus attached to it, and stood up.

"Oh yes, please remember you can't use any magic to teach them." Albus reminded him. "It isn't that hard to do, Severus."

Severus glowered at the old Headmaster who was obviously enjoying the situation.

He stalked out of the Headmasters office in a particularly foul mood and took ten points each off two Griffindors who where standing out in the hallway talking to each other.

His mood was not any better the next morning when he presented himself to the Muggle School and escorted to a room full of what he was told was computer equipment. He was told that the students knew what to do and all he had to do was keep an eye on them.

"I should have faked a summons." muttered Severus as he looked over a book that dealt with these things called computers. His eyebrow went up as he read about towers, screens, printers, USB cords, internet, whatever that was, keyboards and mice. Now that was weird and he wondered why muggles would have mice attached to these machines.

"Don't look like a mouse to me." he muttered to himself as he looked over the illustrations and then at one of the machines on the desk. An article about Internet sites caught his attention. "Hmmmm chat lines, where you can converse with anybody in the world on line." He thought about that one for a moment. "Why would I want to chat with somebody I don't even know? Electronic mail. Could be useful, If I ever wanted to get mail."

He turned the pages and noticed the different kinds of games you could find and play on this thing called Internet, also known as the World Wide Web. "Web? Why involve spiders with this crazy way of communication. Give me owls anytime.

He muttered to himself as he read the different commands used to operate the programs. "Insert disc into drive and close door. All right just what does closing the door have to do with the machine? He closed the book and wished he were back at Hogwarts.

He heard the students come into the class. The chattering students stared at the tall, lank man in black who was holding the computer study manual.

He waited till all of them were seated. The students looked up at him curiously as he cleared his throat and spoke " I am Professor Severus Snape, I have been asked to oversee the class till your regular teacher comes back, and I understand each one of you have assignments to be completed during this class." He glared around the room as the students sat in front of the computers. He snapped, "I don't see anybody doing anything."

The classroom was silent for half a minute as everybody looked up at the tall hook nosed man who was obviously in an ill-humor, and then the hum and clicking noises started as each of the machines were turned on.

Severus wandered around the classroom watching the students and the monitors. He silently studied one screen, leaned over and then whispered

"Miss I do believe that is a chat-line you are on, now if you want to chat there is something known as a detention where you can make up your lost working time. Not that it matters to me either way."

He had startled the girl when he spoke; her face reddened and quickly signed out of the chatroom. Her nearest classmates gave her a look of sympathy.

Severus kept walking around the room. He found some of the students were playing Internet games and he wondered if they expected the world to be one big game. With a slight touch of sarcasm he said "nice, I take it blowing up objects and people on the screen is helpful practice for learning to be a demolition expert. It's good to know you have an idea what you will be doing when you leave school."

He was finding himself becoming a little bit fascinated by some of the more ingenious ways the kids used class time to extend their social lives and others who actually buckled down and worked.

He stopped behind one boy who was nodding has head and listening to something sounding like music through some wires attached to little plugs in his ears. Severus stood beside him and it seemed to him that the boy was having difficulty concentrating on his work what with the constant movement of his head and tapping of his feet.

"I do hope you are not in need of medical help." Severus said to the boy who had just realized Professor Snape was observing him. "Are those noisy wires a necessary aid for your project?" He asked. "If it is a hearing aid, I suggest you get it fixed, it sounds like it is shorting out."

There were a few things called cellular phones that kept making funny noises as they begged to be answered. Severus noticed that one boy was holding it to his ear while another student answered. With his arms folded across his chest he growled, "If whatever it is you need to talk to your friend about can't wait till class is over, you can use a newly discovered method of communication which requires walking over to where she is."

By the end of class Severus was ready to head back to Hogwarts and tell Albus what he could do with his ideas. These muggle students seemed to be hooked up to so many wires he wondered how they could move around without tangling themselves up. He looked forward to heading back to teaching the dunderheads at Hogwarts.

Severus was relieved to have Albus's friend return to his classroom and he could go back to the Castle and its old fashioned way of communications. It wasn't too long before he apparated back to the pillars, which marked the beginning of the school grounds, then walked onto the grounds and entered the castle. He glowered at some students loitering around the entrance to the Great Hall and deducted five points each. It was good to be back.


End file.
